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Showing posts from March, 2006

for illustration friday: the theme is 'spring'

Another plate from Keitha's failed book; in this one, Mother Earth speaks gently to a very nervous seed.

for illustration friday: the theme is 'spring'

Here's another one from that never-realized children's book (see illustration number 25 ), the new flower blooming in spring's breath.

for illustration friday: the theme is 'monster'

woods // I was drawing this little one today, for the cover of a mixed cd I made for my sister (I'm driving to Montreal to see her this weekend; well, delivering Barbie boots to my niece is the 'official' explanation), when I checked the Illustration Friday site and saw it was looking for 'monsters' ...

for illustration friday: the theme is 'monster'

futuremonster // For years this canvas hung next to a window in my tiny, downtown apartment in Winnipeg. I saw it everytime I looked outside, everytime I looked outside expecting an answer for why my building was shaking . And there it was, bus after bus hurtling past below, and the picture – speed-incensed, nightmarish, mechanical, futuristic – seemed appropriate.

for illustration friday: the theme is 'monster'

macbeth // This guy goes all the way back to design school: a faked-out poster for Shakespeare's Macbeth . Dark and demented and hopeless: my favourite play.

illustration number 35

snake // Another editorial illustration, for another darker-than-life story that will probably never see the light of day. Still, they're fun to write.

illustration number 34

This is some kind of officer , suspiciously Russian, as he appeared on yet another journal cover from long ago. And again, I can't remember who I gave him to. (Sadly, I could probably put on an entire exhibit called Art Destroyed by Former Girlfriends .) Mixed media, 5x7 inches.

illustration number 33

This is some lazy, Peter Rabbit-type character; I drew him on a journal cover for my friend Steph. Years ago. I've resurrected him now with some hopeful thoughts on spring.

a story

This is a version of a wee story that I put up on my last website, and it seemed a good a place to start as any with this one. Freon Comeoncomeoncomeon frustratedstuck, you could say the word 'wrath' then it's not so ordinary and petty when the knife slips – it’s an accident, I swear to God – and out comes that escaping air noise whsssshh I can see it feel it mushrooming like the instant regret in my hands to my face oh no . Phone mom but situations like this are so difficult to describe to moms, I’m being evasive and full of excuses and of course she’s willing to lie for me, just wait and see how it is in the morning, then you’ll know what damage you’ve done . But already I know it’s Death. Lukewarm to the touch and I can hear the dying part, sharp collapsing chunkchunk noises, the corpse collapsing from the inside out all through the night, maybe it's just in my head but I don't think so, anything is possible when you listen hard enough. And now Jesus there wil

some recent mentalist behaviour, at random

* The Canadian Olympic Men’s Hockey Team … Talk about putting a mental whammy on yourself. Wow. Usually this is an individual thing, where a particular brain's chemistry goes into full-scale breakdown (think Greg Norman at the 1996 Masters) but here we have a truly collective effort ... from a roster choking with multimillionaires and 'superstars'. And then we had to watch Gretzky in those truck commercials, talking shit about attitude. Oh, and good move on bringing Bertuzzi along; he looked great in the penalty box. * My local union ... First, they placed it into 'trusteeship' (suspend the executive, parachute a new guy in). Now some of them (?) have been found 'guilty' (?) of some kind of 'fraud' (I don't know for sure, because none of this information is being disseminated, and all I have is hearsay). And now they're holding elections for a new executive? Could you at least tell us who's running, please? * My nephew Landon ... Speci

illustration number 32

fivewives // This is an illustration I did for a story called Five Wives . It (the story) is a rather dark little work, obviously, and I'll probably never get it published. Pen on paper, 4x5 inches.

open letter reject #4

Guess what? McSweeney's Open Letters (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/openletters/) has rejected me ... again! Again! 4) Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2006 14:56:06 -0500 To: Subject: OPEN LETTER TO LUCKY AN OPEN LETTER TO LUCKY, MY GIRLFRIEND'S CAT, WHO LIKES TO RUB HIS ASS IN MY FACE WHILE I'M SLEEPING Dear Luckster, Don't be fooled by the IV bag hanging off the lamp: you are not going to live forever. Still, to make it interesting, I'm advising you to run, hide or pray whenever mamma leaves the room. Think fast, The New Boyfriend P.S. The balcony? That's like daring me. ---------- From: openletters@mcsweeneys.net Date: Wed, 15 Mar 2006 09:04:04 -0600 Subject: RE: OPEN LETTER TO LUCKY Darryl: We've decided to pass on this, but thanks for giving us a chance to consider it for the site. Ed Page Assistant Website Editor

open letter reject #3

I have an on-going grudge-match thing going on (see 'open letter rejects'). Or maybe I'm just trying to make myself dizzy. Whatever it is, here's rejection number trois. 3) AN OPEN LETTER TO THE MEXICAN WORRY DOLL MY SISTER GAVE ME Dear Mexican Worry Doll, Sorry for breaking your arms off. Really, I feel bad, Colin Chinaski P.S. Ironically, it was my sister who caused the very rage that precipitated your dismemberment. Crazy, eh? ---------- From: openletters@mcsweeneys.net Date: Fri, 10 Mar 2006 08:40 Subject: RE: OPEN LETTER ... TO MY MEXICAN WORRY DOLL Darryl: We've decided to pass on this, but thanks for giving us a chance to consider it for the site. Ed Page Assistant Website Editor

illustration number 31

driving // This one I keep at work, to remind myself that I had to drive four days around the Great Lakes to get here. Pencil crayon and acrylic, 6x4 inches, paper.

illustration number 30

another red-head ... glaring away: this one I gave to Brenda (thanks for reminding me, darling), so long ago that she deserves a companion (piece) ... mixed media, 5x7 inches, journal cover.

poker, sickness

So: sick like the end of everything (with men we are always dying), I stayed home Tuesday to scare my neighbours with my cough. It certainly scared me; it sounded like gravel rattling around, only the stones were covered with goo. Bubbles came out of my mouth. So I stayed home to lay around and groan and cough and wheeze and moan, to stuff kleenex up my nostrils and ask myself how it all came to this. There's never a good answer. Still, sometime in the afternoon, perhaps seeing me miserable and huddled over my humidifier, God sent along some European Poker Tour for me to watch on tv. Serious business. There were very few bluffs. Extremely aggressive play would sometimes seemingly flare up out of nowhere (like Xuyen 'Bad Girl' Pham going all-in with an A-4 under the gun) but if you looked again there was usually some spark behind the fire (usually, the desperation that attends the short stack, or the fear of being blinded down to nothing). Rarely did these attempts amount t

open letter rejects

McSweeney's has an OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND department. People write squirrels, saran-wrap, Louis XIV, God. It's rather funny. Since I can be rather funny (sometimes, in a casual way, never when pressed or when it matters) I decided to try to get in on the action. Well, the first rejection seemed a tad quick (one hour, twenty-five minutes: in fact, a new record) and sounded a wee bit mechanical (no spelling mistakes; always a red flag), but when the second rejection letter had exactly the same wording as the first, I knew I was getting the old form-letter never-read treatment. So: what started out as an honest ambition has now become a grudge match. How many times can I get the shaft? Let's find out. 1) Date: Friday, March 3, 2006 9:44 AM To: openletters@mcsweeneys.net Subject: OPEN LETTER ... HOVERCRAFT, SEA MONKEYS AND X-RAY GLASSES AN OPEN LETTER TO THE MAIL-ORDER VENDORS OF THE HOVERCRAFT, SEA MONKEYS AND X-RAY GLASSES ADVERTIS

old card

Because of the quirky way this Blogger-thing works, I had to upload this here before I could use it as a profile icon. This is not my image.

illustration number 29

This head has been hanging in my various living rooms for many years now. Amazingly, I painted this one strictly for myself. It's mixed media, mostly acrylic, 17x20 inches.

illustration number 28

Sloth, again // This is a very old piece, back to a time when I was doing all of these simplified, stylized pen and ink works. Don't ask me why; trying to channel some Aubrey Beardsley, I guess. This is from a series about the seven deadly sins. Great idea, until the movie Seven came out. Pen and ink on paper, 4x3 inches.