McSweeney's has an OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND department. People write squirrels, saran-wrap, Louis XIV, God. It's rather funny. Since I can be rather funny (sometimes, in a casual way, never when pressed or when it matters) I decided to try to get in on the action. Well, the first rejection seemed a tad quick (one hour, twenty-five minutes: in fact, a new record) and sounded a wee bit mechanical (no spelling mistakes; always a red flag), but when the second rejection letter had exactly the same wording as the first, I knew I was getting the old form-letter never-read treatment. So: what started out as an honest ambition has now become a grudge match. How many times can I get the shaft? Let's find out. 1) Date: Friday, March 3, 2006 9:44 AM To: openletters@mcsweeneys.net Subject: OPEN LETTER ... HOVERCRAFT, SEA MONKEYS AND X-RAY GLASSES AN OPEN LETTER TO THE MAIL-ORDER VENDORS OF THE HOVERCRAFT, SEA MONKEYS AND X-RAY GLASSES ADVERTIS