the charges, lately

Conspiracy to Commit Fibs

Grand Theft Lego

Aggravating Assault

Hand-Washing Fraud

Crimes Against Daddy's Humanity

Supper Evasion

Public Goofballism

Perjury

Extortion

Indecent Exposure

Harassment

Accessory After the Completely Fabricated Fact

Bamboozlement

Doll Battery