they shoot cowboys, don't they?


At least Johnny Cash sang some fucking songs.

* * * * *

So I turn on the television Saturday night and what do I find on CBC but Ron Maclean in a cowboy hat for the fucking chuck wagon races at the Calgary Stampede, Jesus fucking Christ that's a heartbeat away from covering a monster truck rally, from ooh-ing and aw-ing over trucks with tractor wheels crushing piles of old cars, at least with that you'd get seat belts and helmets and somebody playing the Scorpions really, really loud. Jesus! It's 2012 for Christ's sake! And to make it worse they've got 'reporters' talking about track conditions and weather conditions and I'm sitting there wondering what it must feel like for a grown man to dress up like a cowboy, all these yahoos in the stands who have had about as much to do with cowboy-ing as I've had with the Soviet space program, does the snap of those little metal buttons on your plaid shirt feel like little bits of your soul snapping off? And when the chuck wagons tip or crash and all the horses tethered together snap their legs like so much Stampede candy, do they still have a guy come out and shoot them through the brain? Or is that kind of a buzz kill for the crowd, so they carry the horse away first? It's a fucking disgrace.

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