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The coroner's toxicology report on Whitney Houston could take six to eight weeks. Thank you for that breathless update, mainstream media. In the meantime, I guess we'll all be forced to struggle through to our own conclusions.

Is crack, in fact, whack? Like Celine Dion, Garth Brooks, Billy Joel and Mariah Carey, Houston enjoyed the kind of commercial success that will *never* happen again -- 170 million albums, singles and videos worldwide, at a time when HMV was still a destination within the mall (instead of the curiosity it is today, as in, "How the fuck do they stay in business?") -- while all the time devolving and hardening into a diamond encrusted self-destruct button.

Celine Dion -- married her grandfather's high school teacher
Garth Brooks -- tried to reinvent himself as Chris Gaines (!)
Billy Joel -- sad, bitter, sad, drunk, then bitter again
Mariah Carey -- married Tommy Mottola (!), then made Glitter (!)

And then Whitney. What happens when you give a human being unlimited exposure to (a) cash and (b) Bobby Brown? Your name being widely associated with the term "freebasing" and a reality show where your most memorable line is, I need to poop a poop.

Really, I don't think we need another Warren Commission to figure out what happened.
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  1. Kay12:51 pm

    the mystery is why is celebrity news considered news ( I forget what show we were watching on Sunday evening but they broke in with "breaking news" about Whitney's demise)? I remember a time when breaking news rarely happened and when it did..it was big news..like "the president has been shot". The other mystery is why do people want to be "celebrities"? Do you really want cameras on your every move and poop? really?

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  2. Unknown5:14 pm

    Oh man, I have to agree with Kay. This isn't breaking news. But it is sad what our culture has become and maybe Whitney's death is just one more piece of evidence to show us that truth.

    Sad too is how she fell so hard. I remember her sweet, pop-y, music and her modeling in teen magazines like YM. It was a much more innocent time for her and our culture.

    If nothing else, it gives us something to blog about, right, Red-Handed?!!! Hahaahahahaaa!

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