some people need nothing and want nothing and are free

A journal I painted for C.

* * * * *

Big winter snow day, a clean slate in white and grey, and the perfect sort of day to give some serious thought to my New Year's resolutions. I've kept it to ten.

1} Be less like a North American male (read: fat) and more like a Japanese teenager (weedy, pekid and far too interested in comic-based adventures). C got a Wii Fit Plus over the holidays, then lured me into taking its body testing. When I was done, it informed me that I really needed to get down to 185 lbs, and then changed my avatar (or Mii) from tall and average into a fat little dumpling person. Thank you, Japanese dementoids: I haven't seen 185 lbs since highschool.

2} More spankings for Oona. This one I don't really have to do myself; I just have to hand her over to Auntie Catherine, who absolutely *loves* to dish out spankings. "It relaxes me," she says, rubbing her hands together.

3} Less pink eye. A tough one, but in this case I decided that less is more.

4} Less work at work. If that's possible.

5} More studio time. Christ I've got a ton of projects already. Does anyone know how to fold space?

6} Less grumpy dad. Yet more random search and seizures around the house. The goal, as always, is to instill more of a Big Brother environment for our precious, precious baby.

7} Less empty optimism. Because I'm sure everyone is pretty sick of my Pollyanna attitude already.

8} More reading. Over Xmas, for example, I read some happy stories about the berserk rage of the ancient Assyrians:
I brought howling armies and siege machines like sickened monsters. I brought madness and fire and terror and death. I flayed the rebellious princes and spread their skins against the walls. I conjured blood clouds and death clouds and rained misery and blindness and evisceration down upon their armies. I smashed their towers. I impaled their servants and sycophants. I filled their wells with salt. I left nothing but an emptiness, a devastation. I clapped my hands and laughed to the dead sun.
9} More time online. Because everyone always says the opposite, and I'm bitter and contrary that way.

10} Less dandyism. Because I spend waaay too much time and money on fine clothes and expensive shaves. Time to release the inner bear!


  1. Do it release the inner bear :) If you eat out of the fridge late.. same thing right? releasing the inner bear?

  2. So you're going to become a skinny bear who folds time? Splendid!

  3. Anonymous11:38 am

    I am presently reading Tolstoy...his view of women -from one extreme to another, lighten up morose boy -it's done you well so far and it doesn't come off as depressing just realistic and insightful and Oona needs a dad like that, Pollyanna dads are a nightmare for little girls.
    Re: You could use of Clint from "What not to Wear".

  4. I like the way you wrtie..oh I said that before..well still is true...the Inner Bear could be interesting

  5. i adore c's journal..birds .the bear thing i'm already all over ...being a single mom with twins(and who eats out of the fridge late..thats when i do chocolate).
    i wouldnt get off my wii until i got my age also kept asking me if probably trip in public alot!
    i get my spanking out by going to the meat dept in the grocers..i luv those roasts!!!and the sound!


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