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so long 2010; look me up if you need a reference

The cover I painted for my 2011 day-timer.

* * * * *

Well, that's it: another year on the path behind us. Or left wandering blind in the forest.

Some quick and haphazard math tells me that I walked about 1600 kilometres this year. And who did I meet along the way? Well, some very interesting folks.

headband guy
O headband guy -- why are you fighting it? Don't you feel how cold it is? I've got the hood up on my parka and I still feel the wind. And why are you trying to save your hair? You're like, 45 or 50 years old. Nobody cares what we look like anymore. Nobody under the age of 30 even sees us. (And you can drop the all-black thing, too -- 1992 is nothing but bones now.)

skeevy guy
O skeevy guy -- I see you. It's obvious that you're not really walking anywhere because you don't have anywhere to go. You're just kind of twitching your way around the neighbourhood. Looking around. Looking for things to steal or places to break into. Or someone you know so they can give you some smokes. And then you'll assault them!

bareheaded girl
God you're going to get such a cold.

gym-shorts kid
And you're going to get pneumonia.

rough lumberjacket guy
You're can't do that thing up, can you? And even if you could, you wouldn't.

hunchback with styrofoam cup
A personal favourite. You hold that empty styrofoam cup aloft before you like it's the olympic torch. Where are you going? Where are you taking it? What an enigma you are, o neighbourhood frankenstein!

fur-hat guy
Yes, I see, you have a fur hat. What a maverick! You can stop grinning now.

rumble couple
She's insane (it's the multiple layers of sweat pants) and the male half follows about five paces behind -- grim, dirty, constantly smoking, and emitting this low-pitched grumble as you walk by. She might look at you (at least with one eye) but he never does; in fact, he's not really looking at anything. And there they go.
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Comments

  1. UpStart Press11:00 am

    That last couple is really us in the future, right?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown1:33 pm

    I always have a good chuckle reading your blog.... so I thought I would say hi :) Robin

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kay2:43 pm

    At least you have interesting people to observe. I have (now that they decided to grace us with a sidewalk) yuppie heaven. All dressed in running tights, headbands, running shoes and ipods, bluetooth(s)BTW what is the plural of a bluetooth device? Blueteeth? Sounds like they will stick out their tongues after having eaten a blueberry popsicle! They all dress the same..they push their vapid children in high tech running stollers..sometimes 3 across! ( I get nasty remarks because our rural mailbox is on a pipe in their way..teehee. Or a golden retriever on a leash..or not. Sometimes they let the dogs loose so they can dodge the cars on the highway. I admit to being the neighborhood curmudgeon. We refuse to shovel the 280 feet of sidewalk we did not want. In the summer I sit out front with my iced tea and watch them red from heat exhaustion as they pound the pavement and ruin their feet and knees in knocked knee effort to look alike. I used to know everyone in town..that was when there were only 2000 residents..now at 18000 and counting..I don't want to know them and they don't want to know us! I even get out my camera and pretend to take their photos..all in good fun. If you choose to be the neighborhood curmudgeon..then you should play that up. I have been known to purposely shuffle out to aforesaid mailbox to retrieve the junk mail in my slippers and pjs with a cup of coffee and a piece of toast and stand there to watch them all run by..I need a hobby!!! all that said..have a great new year. I love your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  4. switch3:55 pm

    Berger HNY!!
    You make me want to blog again.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Eryl6:27 pm

    Your neighbours sound charming. Happy New Year to you, Red.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Julie Whitmore Pottery8:01 pm

    Hey Red Handed,

    Fur hat guy tried to stake a claim over here, but I sent him off back your way, I knew how much you'd miss him

    xx
    julie

    ReplyDelete
  7. illustration poetry7:31 pm

    HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. traci9:50 pm

    happy 2011!
    keep me in depends this year please!you-are off to a good start!

    ReplyDelete

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