this little light

You may have noticed that I've been a bit down lately, as in knocked down, at the hands of two twists I affectionately refer to as Greedy and Stupid. Greedy, of course, tends to come at you with sneak attacks and wild rushes, and score his licks in bunches. He's a pouncer, like Cato in the Pink Panther. He'll say, Oh, I just need a couple of minor changes on that brochure, and then he'll smash a vase over your head by telling you that you still need to add the entire French translation. Just squeeze it in. He's a thief, a burglar, a shakedown artist. It's Stupid who you need to worry about. He's got all sorts of ungodly shit done up in Excel or PowerPoint or fucking Word, so in his mind it's pretty much done, and he can't understand why it can't just be sent off to the printer's, once you've scanned it or waved your wand over it or whatever it is you graphic design guys do. He's a blunt instrument, an unstoppable force, like a bear with a chequebook or an online degree in project management.

Someday, of course, I'll have my revenge, but until my flamethrower arrives from the order I placed with that classified ad in the back of that mercenary magazine, I'll have to take my positives where I find them. One of which arrived this week, when my crazy (seriously) but wonderful friend Rowan sent me her half of an art exchange. Rowan lives -- in her head, in her heart -- in an alternative landscape ... an ancient place of whispering hills and magical forests, where doomed Indian princesses and discarded brides wander weeping from dead lovers and ruined towers.

She also has a twin ...

... and ... apparently ... some black cats she likes to dress up ... {sigh}.

p.s. Thank you for the wonderful parcel, Row!


  1. ah dj, so sorry about greedy and stupid. but, while they are in our midst, could you rewrite this blog post backwards in french and chinese and make it politically correct for EVERYONE in the whole world. oops, i almost said please. my bad. hang in there and let the gift of your funny carry you through. ooh, imagine me tripping too or spewing beverarges out my nose as i laugh at something-that happens at least 3 times a day. now, imagine me doing these things at the same time while i am balancing a tall water bottle on my head, you know-to help my posture, as my twin jer looks on and rolls her eyes and i fall into the trash can and my little nephews laugh so hard at me(and i thought i looked so cool) that they are now crying and the little one starts pooping his pants again. ah, a day in the life of me-so very sexy and mysterious!

    so glad you got the art exchange package! thanks so much for your amazing words. they are beyond words for me(ok, that makes no sense-yes it does). that was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said about me-truly so thank you, thank you!

    i have cut my hair a bit and i am freaking myself out when i look in the mirror because i see my twin! it is so scary and weird-twins are so freaky. i have to get my hair to grow back out fast because i can't take seeing her everywhere. i am used to looking more like my little cat Tobias(in the bottom photo). i guess i look like him when i have long hair. ok, rambling and longish like you expected.

    have to go and perform a funeral for my 4 year old nephew's worm "Wormy" who died an untimely death yesterday. i'll do a good job for good old wormy and there will be cookies involved(for the nephews-we will leave one for wormy as well). for every season and all that. thanks again. and yes, very little of this has anything to do with anything-or does it?
    take care and thanks again!
    p.s. i am your flamethrower! you ordered a whole person. i just have to get my warrior headdress on and the flames of course and then i can kick some ass-i am full of rage and very vengefull so greedy and stupid don't stand a chance!


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