super spastic idiomatic fantastic

I have a fairly hysterical friend who is always getting fairly hysterical about whatever latest politically incorrect (according to her) remark I've just made. Yesterday she was on me for using the phrase "Chinese Auction" to describe the type of prize lottery they have at wedding socials. She had no idea what the term meant, or how a Chinese auction works, but she knew -- she just knew, in her heart of hearts -- that it was racist. "Well, I guess I won't tell you about the Italian sausage we're having for supper," I said.

When we go for walks around campus, she gets wildly upset when I want to take shortcuts through a playing field instead of sticking to the sidewalk. "It just feels disrespectful," she says.

"You mean the same field they play rugby on?" I ask.

Her head would literally pop off if she saw me walk through the Memorial Arch each morning on my way to work. The point I always make to her is that she's free to make a fetish object out of whatever she wants, but I'm also free to take a pass. I'll pray to less warlike gods, thanks all the same. The very politically incorrect 'gentlemen' of the Emin Pasha Expedition (one of the wars listed on the arch) won't care either way.


  1. vielen dank:))))

  2. funny!
    am enjoying your blog. i'm going to dive in now for more reads!!

  3. You are the hysterical one! Love it...(especially the rugby dig)

  4. I love Chinese auctions! It's one of the fundraising ideas that I actually use.

    I agree with the others. This post is hysterical! Nice comeback about those sausages!


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