head for the hills
There's a Kids in the Hall sketch about two hopeless buskers who eat nothing but Kraft Dinner with ketchup every night and are suddenly, magically rewarded for this with a five-year supply of KD, ketchup and tapeworm food. I was thinking of this when I was sitting in the dark at around 1:30 in the morning on Tuesday night, freezing from the air conditioning, waiting for C's morphine shot to kick in so I could take her home. We were in a room at the hospital. Ah, the hospital. That's where I always go to talk to security guards in the middle of the night, and have interns and then doctors explain the nature of cholecystitus, because I always learn best under flourescent light, when I can no longer see straight, when the only real lesson is that the gravy train of Kraft Dinner, Revellos, ice cream and chips will be sitting in the station for a bit, while a certain blonde someone gets used to fresh fruits and vegetables, whole wheat and skim milk. The tape worm is on his own.