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Showing posts from April, 2006

list number 2; rejected

Hmmmmm ... another rejection from McSweeney's, but the surprising thing about this one is that it's worded differently from the last (see 'list; rejected') ... I'm probably reading too much into it, however, and this editor just has the good grace or creativity to alternate between electronic rejection slips ... ----------------- Date: April 18, 2006 1:47:52 PM EDT (CA) To: lists@mcsweeneys.net Subject: lists / SHOPPING LIST FOR MY PITY PARTY SHOPPING LIST FOR MY PITY PARTY * party streamers, wet * party hats, half-singed, extra-small * one marble cake, footprint in icing * paper plates, extra flimsy * one stripper, extra Polish * one cup heavy whipping cream * one jar no-name maraschino cherries * one cd, slightly scratched * one soul, lightly beaten * one teaspoon salt, for wounds ----------------- From: lists@mcsweeneys.net Date: April 24, 2006 4:16:37 PM EDT (CA) Subject: RE: lists / SHOPPING LIST FOR MY PITY PARTY Darryl, I'm passing on this. Thanks for th

for illustration friday: the theme is 'robot'

This robot – actually he just has some robotic tendencies, and the rest is erringly human – comes from an old attempt at science fiction, which was all the usual stuff about a demented Queen and the end of the world. Thankfully, it didn't go anywhere.

for illustration friday: the theme is 'spotted'

I gave this painted pooch to my friend Nicole (I think), who can be excused for losing it (I bet) during her recent wanderings.

list; rejected

Well, while my blood feud with McSweeney's continues, I've decided to give the automatic-rejection generator from their Open Letters department a much-needed rest, and instead go after another close cousin. Here's a recent submission to their 'Lists' category. -------------------- Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2006 11:26:01 -0400 To: lists@mcsweeneys.net Subject: lists / IF MY MORNINGS WERE NAMED LIKE BAD BREAKFAST SPECIALS IF MY MORNINGS WERE NAMED LIKE BAD BREAKFAST SPECIALS Last-Minute Scrambler, Again Five-Alarm Mishmash Two Eggs with Sausage Over-Easy, Hurry Up Pork and Beans Not So Sunny Side Up Guck Surprise My Bagel, Lightly-Toasted -------------------- From: lists@mcsweeneys.net Date: April 15, 2006 8:47:42 PM EDT (CA) Subject: RE: lists / IF MY MORNINGS WERE NAMED LIKE BAD BREAKFAST SPECIALS Darryl, We won't be able to use this at the site, but I appreciated having the chance to see it. Regards, Benjamin Cohen

for illustration friday; the theme is speed

Trouble is always in a hurry, isn't it? It's a pilot with speed and fire and gravity gone bad.

the indisputable weight of the ocean

People are always telling me that my work is too dark. So I've put up this sunnier story, but even it has a shadow, as its original publisher – a fine Atlantic Canadian literary magazine called the Gaspereau Review – is no longer in business. ---------------- It was a simple enough thing and that thing was simply this: Edmund Kelley was a gentleman. Of course his mom called him her 'little gentleman', as in 'Oh Edmund, you are my perfect little gentleman,' which did seem to hold to a certain logic that these type of things often follow, considering her affection for him and the fact that he was, after all, only ten years old. Still, Edmund himself was not particularly fond of the diminutive aspect of that title. Gentleman was enough; gentleman summed up the whole thing rather nicely, thank you. He was definitely a more refined version of your average child. He lived in a state of perpetual Sunday m